I worry about my sister Kathy. I now understand a little why my Mom worried as much as she did. Kathy is the middle of five children, I am number 4, we have 2 older brothers and one younger brother.
Kathy was diagnosed with brain damage at the age of five, I was 2 and my youngest brother was just 6 weeks. JFK had just been assassinated and my Poppa died of cancer. While I can not imagine how my mom “Dee” felt it must have been overwhelming. The grief for her father, the mourning of a country for a beloved president and the disbelief that a child has a life long disability.
My Mom died of lung cancer 4 years ago. My last words to her, “Mom, I will take care of Dad and Kathy.” I have wonderful brothers that are able and willing to help, but as the daughter I feel like I carry the weight and responsibility. There are days that I feel guilty that I am not doing more. There are days that I feel happy that my sister now lives 2 miles away, instead of 4 hours away. There are days that I feel lucky and she smiles. There are days that I wished she lived in a place with her own peeps.
As I write, I realize this is the result of 4 years of grieving for a mother I did not understand. My mother lived with grace and dignity, but did not ask for help, even though she could use a hand.
I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, an artist, a lover of life living every day to honor my promise.
Today’s post is part of a brave blogging link-up I’m participating in for Liv Lane’s How To Build a Blog You Truly Love e-course. Hope you’ll visit Liv to see and support what they’re sharing – and feel free to jump in, too!
Being all those things is a great burden: sister, daughter, wife, mother, friend artist and lover of life. All those burdens are polished by treasured experiences both and good and bad into incredible, sparkling gems that sprinkle together and pave the road of our lives. Keep being all those things, as they weave into everything that you do. I am thankful you are all these things, because you inspire my own creativity more than you know. Proud that you are my artist friend!
powerful to be able to say so much
and so well
with so few words…..I totally admire you for that.
thanks for this beautiful share.
-Jennifer
You’re obviously the caregiver in your family (me too!) Just remember when you are all those things to other people to take care of yourself along the way. Beautiful header by the way!
I totally get where you are coming from. When mymom died my sister and I were her primary caregivers. Before she died she “assigned” each of us a sibling to watch over. What I found later is no one was assigned to me. It took me quite awhile to realize and come to grips with that she (my mother) knew that I could take care of myself. You did give your mother peace to know that Kathy and you Dad was in good hands!
Beautiful, Sandi – and a perspective so many women can relate to. Sisters and daughters do tend to naturally fall into the caregiver role. While it can be a joy to serve in that way, it can also sap your energy. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too!
What a beautiful post. I think a lot of women can relate to this. You were able to pack so much emotion into a short post – well done! Your writing is very impactful. Thank you for sharing.
what a sweet post! And I love Liv! i didn’t know she was offering a course…i’ll have to go take a look.
I’m blog hopping and visiting all the bead soup participants. Can’t wait to see the big reveals.
♥ tejae